Ain't it funny how you change your mind again

After the massive entry I wrote last Thursday, I have had a few concerned people asking me what it all means. I have never really been able to be completely straight because when there is ambiguity in your own mind it is hard to make a solid decision and stick to it. Everything I wrote I meant with all my heart...Last Thursday when I wrote it.

Tonight I have been listening to the audio files from the set that Alistair played at that gig. Without even realising what was happening I have been sitting here in floods of tears. Don't get me wrong, these tears aren't because I am sad, I am not upset because I didn't go to the gig - quite the opposite probably . The reason I am sobbing my heart out is because that is what listening to Alistair does to me. I (along with most Griffin fans I would think) can't put my finger on why he can bring out so much emotion in me. Sometimes there are times when I really should cry but just can't. When my mum died it took me days to cry, yet put Griffin on the stereo singing Everything Changes and the waterworks just start flowing.

If this had told me anything it is that you can't turn feelings on and off even if you want to, Emotion is there in all of us and we all have our triggers. Mine it seems is sitting in my front room listening to Alistair Griffin (Who apparently is dead) singing his best work yet, plus, what I have decided to be the best cover he has ever done - Halelujah.

I am not making any assumptions or bringing this entry to a conclusion, just sharing an emotional late night.