Contemplation

Today it is 11 years since my father died of pancreatic cancer.
I can remember the day as clear as if it were yesterday.
My mum had died just 6 months before and I was struggling with a 2 year old and a 6 month old and my 20 year old sister was attempting to look after my sick dad and my 14 year old wayward sister...As well as working all hours god sent to bring in money to pay the rent etc...
My dad's illness had progressed at a hell of a rate and a social worker was trying to help get everything in place for my 2 sisters. A lawyer was brought in to try and draw up a will to make sure that my youngest sister was looked after and also to make sure they got the benefits that were due to them.
It was a mad day of running round and I can remember only just getting to the Post office before they shut to draw the benefits as my dad wasn't expected to last the weekend. A friend of my parents came to look after my 2 little ones while I went to the hospital to see Dad. There in the chair next to him - where she had been for the past 4 days - was my auntie. I don't really think that was my dad I saw. He was frail and out of it from the morphine. We talked to him as normal but I don't even think he knew who we were. I couldn't stay long as the babysitter had to get back for her own children. I remember leaving and saying see you tomorrow. As I got home the phone was ringing...It was my sister telling me that Dad had gone. We were expecting it but I still felt numb and cold. Over the coming weeks I spent more time with my sisters than I had ever spent.

I really can't believe that the time has passed...I don't even know how we coped....How have we managed to keep it together all this time?

My sisters came to live with me for a while until they managed to get their lives together...Don't think I have ever managed it though. We all have our own lives now but we are still extremely close. Still can't believe that is it 11 years......